It’s not the best policy, it's the only policy. I’m going a little lite on the political slant this week *cough* in order to air my laundry on the H word.
Ever since I was a little kid, I despised people who lie to navigate their way through life, so much in fact that I would totally distance myself from someone, even if they only lied to me once. Well first off I should establish that I have varying rings of social relationships, which all require various levels of trust etcetera. Most people share this behavior, however they often don’t have the rings as clearly laid out in there heads as I do. I don’t think it at all inappropriate or mean to hangout with someone, and totally not trust them with your spare change. Some people are just like that, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still be fun to hangout with from time to time. Also, I don’t determine the level someone is at with me based on how others perceive or have been treated by them. In other words, I’ve had friends that hate my other friends because they’re asses to each other (which only applies within criminal/extreme norms… I wouldn’t stay friends with someone if they stole or violently attacked another friend etc….). When neither party is an ass to me, I don’t see the point in being on sides. I don’t apologize for that, and one of the biggest disappointments is when a friend asks me not to be friends with someone else. I will almost always pick the friend who didn’t ask me, even if I like them less.
I digress.
Without honesty, what do we have to base reality on, as well as our perceptions within a relationship (any relationship, not necessarily romantic)? People who lie their way through life often live in a scary world where at any minute their secrets could be found out and their world turned upside down. I live in a world of unknowns too, but not because of the unknown propagated by our own design, but because of the unknown that is this random world. There is one difference between how I live my life and how the dishonest live theirs: I’m not afraid of the unknown. I have friends better then family who I trust and who trust me. I know they are there and will help me get through the unknown if ever I need their help. I know that they will be there because they know me for who I am, and not who I’ve created myself to appear as (which at any point could be revealed to be false).
However, and you may judge me a hypocrite for this, I rarely share my whole self with people I trust. I don’t think it dishonest not to geek out in front of someone when I know they have no interest in geeking out with me. If you ever asked me about it however, I would be obliged to answer. I just don’t see the point in trying to express every nuance of my personality with someone if they express no interest in understanding said nuances. For some people I’m too much, so I think that’s fair.
Anyway, the phrase “only god can judge me” has been rattling around in my head all morning (as sung by Tupac). I don’t personally believe that she exists, but if so, that is a totally arrogant thing to do. Who is she to judge her own work, really? I think most of my art is crap and usually throw it away (which I later regret). I would hate to be thrown away (supposedly to the pits of hell) just because that asshole of a goddess was being too critical of herself and her work (which is this world). If anything, she would be the last place I would expect judgment, rather I would expect compassion and acceptance as we are all working with what she has given us… theoretically speaking.
Signing off…
PS. currently reading the autobiography of Nikola Tesla, so be prepared to hear about the late great saint of modern technology in the near future….
PPS. I have been obsessed with him for most of my life so you can always contact me if you want to geek out on Niko anytime.
